We’ve always believed that a strong sense of self is important, that you can accept what the naysayers say and evaluate for yourself and be comfortable with whatever decision you then decide to take. Is it fun to have people say no to you and strongly put down your ideas and thoughts? No. Is there value in them doing so? If you look at it in the best possible light, yes!
Throughout our lives, we will be making decisions. Some of the decisions we could have adopted from other people (for e.g. in our younger years when it is influenced heavily by our parents). The universal truth is that there will always be people who agree with us and people who disagree with us. Always! Even the most controversial world events will see dividing views and votes. Even something as downright ridiculous like drugs, there will be two sides of the coin.
On a general level, having a different opinion is perfectly fine. Healthy debates and discussions can come out of it and different viewpoints surface leading to an understanding of a matter with more depth and breadth. Typically the sore point is when the exchange of opinions is no longer done in a respectful manner or there are strongly opinionated people who do not agree to disagree (one of the strongest argument diffusers, ever!).
So why do I thank the naysayers? It took me some time to come to this stand as initially the naysayers who would spew out their opinions strongly without considering our rationale behind the issue or decision would tick me off to great lengths. I would spend time going through it over and over again in my head and get more and more annoyed. I’ve learnt that we can’t quite live life avoiding differences in opinions and the sooner I get my head around that the better. It’s quite easy to pass comments and judgement based on one singular event which is what is generally done, whereas the decision maker needs to look at the decision holistically.
Golden rules:
- Everyone is entitled to an opinion. The decision still remains ours.
- The people who live with the decision is us, therefore we are the ones that truly matter.
- After deciding, going through any other possibility unless you have the power to change the decision, is pointless.
Therefore the naysayers, at a very spiritual level, have made me a better person to be able to accept the differences in opinions better. On a more grounded level, issue by issue, it gives me a rounded view from angles I may not have considered. I also consider it practice in our heads to further reinforce our decision (if we choose to stick with it) as we have to go through the same questions and opposite opinions, over and over. That makes it a more solid decision.
Do I still get ticked off with the naysayers? A slight annoyance that will soon go away, I have faith. These days I try a new trick I picked up from Mr.C where he just nods and continues on with what he’s doing. I suppose for some of the louder naysayers whom we know are more prone to only stick to their own decision, there is no point in sharing our decision-making process in more detail or going into a healthy debate as we know they won’t play fair, so to speak. So do we need to invest in a discussion or shall we just cut to the chase and end the conversation? The things I learn by observing!
What tricks do you have up your sleeves to deal with the naysayers in your life?
Author: Ms.K
Ms.K is everything that Mr.C is, without the natural interest in investing and company financials! The activity planner for the family, the driver of random ideas and soon to be ‘retiring’ in to full time motherhood – Ms.K has no idea what she’s in for but remains super excited!