The FI Mindset (Part 2)

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A few days ago, we put up Part 1 of the FI Mindset as we see it at the SippingCoconut household. Here’s our final and conclusive part of the FI Mindset, although our mindset changes and grows day by day so there’s nothing to preclude an update to this post in time to come 🙂 For now though, let’s get right back into it!

The 10 Second Decision on Spend Value ~ A Spin on Differentiating Needs and Wants

The ability to do this seamlessly is one that will take a person far and the good news is that it can be cultivated. Chances are anyone on the FI journey has taken a good introspective view to analyze their spend and what they value in life. This is different from the values above, the value we are touching upon here is the value of that purchase to you. The wants and needs bucket is too simplified in the general Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs theory.

Sure, I need food but I want that Special 2lb Steamed Lobster that Morton’s Steakhouse keeps emailing me about.

See the difference there? All I need is sustenance however in what shape, form and price that comes is definitely a ‘want’ consideration. The spin here is that quick analysis on how much I value that spend. I could easily drop that $88 without feeling terrible about it if I really wanted to and thought that spend is on an experience I would value. Here’s another illustration of 2 types of spend that actually took place in the last 2 months and my associated feelings:

What I Spent On The Background of the Spend How Much Moolah I Dropped? How I Feel About it?
Show and Dine package to watch Legally Blonde at Marina Bay Sands + Dinner at Adrift A girls night out with some of my besties. I didn’t care much for the choice of the show but I really wanted to go hang out with my girls. $92 Amazing! The show turned out to be fabulous and the dinner was delectable! Best part of the night was what was a given – fun chatter with some of the closest friends I have.
Set B at Coffee & Toast which included the kaya toast bun, half boiled eggs and a drink I took Coco#1 to Changi Airport after school one afternoon for a frugal, free & fun time. He’s a food monster so I was prepared – I had crackers, I had carrot sticks, I had random snacks. This was for a period of 4 hours. He ate it all and told me he was still starved. What’s a momma to do? I’d never deprive my child of food! $4.60 Totally should have packed some egg sandwiches!

I was prepared for no unnecessary spend with a variety of snacks. So whilst the dollar amount is small, I deemed it unnecessary as I could have planned to avoid the spend altogether with more food!

The above reasoning does not have to make sense to you, but it needed to make sense to me and how it fit within how I value spend.




Which leads into the important point here that there’s no right or wrong answer here, there’s just the answer that fits you and your desired lifestyle. Your desired lifestyle could involve weekly trips out with friends on a yacht, extended weekend getaways to nearby countries, exploring the fine dining scene in Singapore or meandering through the museums that give free entry passes, strolling around the parks, having pot luck with friends or even a combination of the above spread across a year. Whatever pleases you is the right answer with the only caveat that you are deliberate about your spend.

The alternative is a go-with-the-flow-spend, which will see your cash simply flowing without giving you the satisfaction of a deliberate spend. An example is back when I was dropping cash like I it was hot coal, I went out for delicious dinners all the time and rarely appreciated the meal as much as I do now when it is a deliberate meal out. Back then, it was a go-with-the-flow spend, it’s a meal that needed to be had and so-and-so place is where we are going.

Nowadays, it takes all of 10 seconds to really determine if I want to spend any cash on anything, ranging from a Tip Top Nyonya Beef Rendang Curry Puff at $1.70 (which is the bomb but totally over-priced!) to a $200 meal. Easy-peasy lemon-squeazy questions that require you to be completely honest with yourself:

  • Do I really want this?(yes, ask twice!)
  • Do I really, really want this?
  • Is the value of it worth the cost?
  • What is an alternative?
  • What is the opportunity cost of this spend?

At the very least, it brings my decision-making to the forefront of my consciousness. [Check out our previous post on Taming the Lifestyle Inflation Lion / Lioness, it’s very relevant to this point]

The Attitude of Gratitude

This comes in intentionally at 3rd place. Only when we realize on which scale we are at on what we really want are we able to compound the feeling of gratitude for all that we have and will continue to have. I touched on this a little already when I mentioned the ability to enjoy my fancy meal out more now that I am consciously choosing to eat out.




To expand on this further, the attitude of gratitude comes with knowing what is enough for you. It is easy enough to forget all that we have in life and that comes with wanting more. It is easy to think that “I’ll be happy once I reach FI / once I never have to work anymore / once I can travel the world”. It’s easy to think that happiness comes from having more, say a fancier car, a bigger house, a higher salary. Undoubtedly any of the above would make you happy but remember to be happy right now, in this instance. Remember to take stock of life as it is right now and all the joy that it brings you. You have heard if before and you’ll hear it again here that happiness comes from within. The art of being happy no matter what the situation. How?

Gratitude can turn what we have into enough. That makes for living beneath your means joyful and becomes a foundation of success to reach and maintain FI. When we learn to be thankful for what we have, I find the joy that it brings is more authentic and a calm, quiet joy. The type that gives in to many involuntary smiles and sends a physical warmth throughout the body.

“Gratitude doesn’t change the scenery. It merely washes clean the glass you look through so you can clearly see the colors.” ―Richelle E. Goodrich

I do find myself constantly in gratitude for all the good in my life however I do know that I often am not sufficiently gratuitous of life, like when I choose to be unhappy about small matters. I seem to have found that linking unhappiness with impermanence makes it easier to let any amount of unhappiness or annoyance go. I just have to remember to give Holly Butcher’s note a read and I find perspective to make better decisions and let go and, eat that cake.




Live For Your Own Self, Find Peace in Your Own Voice

Chances are, if you are pursuing the FI path, you are pretty comfortable blazing your own trail. Peer pressure and the societal strings are just white noise to you. It is a constant struggle though, finding that balance between keeping the ties and remaining in touch with society and the people around us whilst being comfortable to be different. Not everyone can relate, which is expected, as we are finding out as we tell people our ‘alternative’ choices:

First Week of Full Retirement

Keeping Up with the Kongs

Should We Get a Car?

We are all for spending money where it is in line with our values, as explained above. When we are able to question our wants to scale it down to the essentials that bring us the most amount of joy, we reap more than we set out to by a callous spend. By engaging in the 10 seconds decision on spend value, we effectively do away with herd behaviour and any nonexistent desires that have developed are vaporised (clearly one too many superhero shows).




 

Finding your own voice and being comfortable in your own skin will silence naysayers eventually as you are not playing ball. You know what works best for your life and situation and you are headed there with laser focus. So, for example, if you want to practice the 10 item wardrobe for all the benefits it gives and you get a little heckled by folks who only see that you are wearing the same clothes on heavy rotation or calling you ‘cheapo’, you find it becomes easier to ignore those comments and stay on your path. Your happiness comes from within, not external validation and that is easier when that happiness is the 4 legged square table, the legs of the table are the values that you hold dear and keeping your happiness table-top steady.

That’s our take of FI Mindset.

What would you add on or elaborate on? Are there constructive thoughts around our views, be it for or against? Looking forward to read in the comments section!

Author: Ms.K

Ms.K is everything that Mr.C is, without the natural interest in investing and company financials! The activity planner for the family, the driver of random ideas and soon to be ‘retiring’ in to full time motherhood – Ms.K has no idea what she’s in for but remains super excited!

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