It has been quite a long time, life has a way of happening and changing everything. In the last 12 months, the recurrent theme has been loss. The loss of family and friends to different reasons. The finality of that has been, and remains, hard to come to terms with. The many times I have tried to write about it but was overcome by emotions that I put it off.
I think back to why we write. It’s primarily for our children to read as they grow up so they know their parents better, the values we hold close and the thoughts we have about life and to see the decision-making behind some of our actions. Secondly, it’s to give clarity of thought to ourselves, as the writer. Lastly, it’s to share some parts of our life and find like-minded folks online to build our own tribe, to use a buzz-word. Today, I will post. It’s only fitting.
Losing my father and our beautiful baby whilst pregnant has been the hardest time in our lives individually, and as a family. This week particularly has been hard, and the leading up to it as well. Our baby’s estimated due date and my dad’s 1st year anniversary is a day apart. But there was some beauty and magic in the week, and I want to share that.
I got the pink hibiscus “Pinkie” when I lost my dad a year ago, and a flower bloomed today on his 1st year anniversary. I got the orange hibiscus “Goldie” when I lost our baby, and one bloomed yesterday. The day we were meant to have him.
The friend who truly suprised me and sent the pastries and coffee over (<3, <3, <3) said – “Well that’s no coincidence”. I think she’s right; and that, is beautiful. Perhaps I will always feel this way when I think of them. That’s ok too, I tell myself, for grief is love persevering. I heard that in a movie recently, and I think that’s right.
To the ones we lost, we will always love you.
