The young coconut and I have a morning routine once we pack the older coconut and Mr.C off to school and work respectively. We finish up breakfast (or sometimes we pack breakfast), we get bundled into the stroller and we go for a 20 minute walk around our gorgeous green dwellings without a single care in the world. (Yesterday I even jogged for that 20 minutes while I pushed him around! I’ll try to keep this up, works very well for my alternate day exercise plan!)The air is cool and quiet, the plants that line the sidewalk are the most gorgeous shade of green, the fishes in the pond are swimming around playfully. I talk to the young coconut and he babbles back in unintelligible conversation. I tell him about everything around us and his young mind absorbs it all.
Isn’t this the life? Is this not what we work for, to live in a environment of our choice and to spend time with the offspring we brought into the world? I look around me and I see a similar scene, a grown up lady running after a young child. Laughing, playing. She has a friend with her, also with another young child. How lovely. These ladies are helpers though, not the parent. I feel sadness creep in. I’ve been so fortunate to be in this situation where I am able to be present with my children but this is not a reality for many parents who are forced to work to make ends meet and to save for a future that is desirable. I also feel lonely for I am the only parent, day in and day out, with my child. While I chat with the helpers, they are more at ease amongst themselves.
Come noon, I pick the elder coconut up from childcare and the symphony of chaos begins. The countless times I hear ‘mummy’ and the endless request for food and play time is all part of the music I hear. The best part of my day is to see both the boys playing with each other and the infectious squeals of laughter from both.
In the evenings, before we head down to the pool or playground or just for a walk, I give the kids their tea-time snack. It gives me a sense that I am getting life right to see them hungrily devour the snacks I prepare, often cut fruit, cheese, dates, yogurt and biscuits. At least I know they are getting nutritious food daily.
On the condo grounds, it’s bliss once again to see my 4 year old able to run around outside a classroom and play and develop and make friends with younger and older children alike. I often push my baby around in the stroller to keep him occupied. We would pass by familiar faces of other children who are happily playing around and having snacks. They are out too, enjoying the lovely evening weather, with their helpers. Once again, I feel lonely. I am again the only parent with the children.
Towards 6:30pm, we start heading home for dinner and shower and some family time before it’s time to sleep. It’s around that time as well that I see streams of parents coming back from work, walking hurriedly. I used to be part of that crowd, wanting to get back as fast as my heels could carry me so that I see my babies before they sleep.
It comes as no surprise that practicing my daily gratitude multiple times a day comes quite easily in this environment and surrounded by my boys. Grateful for the life that we have, the ability to be with my children, the financial planning that we undertook that facilitated this arrangement, the same mindset with Mr.C (here and here) in almost every aspect and the evolution to gain immense pleasure from having enough. Grateful that I am living the life that I want myself, not through a helper.* Though in many ways, from a daily activity standpoint, I do feel like we are similar. I can’t imagine how some helpers feel, living this amazing life with young children whilst being separated from their own!
Is it tiring, running the household, cooking daily, doing the school pick-up and and managing both kids? You bet. Do the kids drive me up the wall? Every other day! Do I miss having a career to develop and business related conversations? Every now and again. Do I have a fondness of having a regular paycheck of my own? Absolutely. Will I regret leaving my career to retire early to be with my boys? Unlikely. Scratch that, not ever. This is the most amount of joy that I have ever had, day after day, that is guaranteed (although no money back! ha!).
*In no way am I having a single negative judgement against those who do need have helpers. We have been there ourselves a couple of years ago, with a helper. This post is meant to be taken as it is, a sharing of gratitude and loneliness (haha!). As I write this, I feel a little sad that I need to put up a disclaimer as such but of well, best be clear than risk being misunderstood!
Author: Ms.K
Ms.K is everything that Mr.C is, without the natural interest in investing and company financials! The activity planner for the family, the driver of random ideas and soon to be ‘retiring’ in to full time motherhood – Ms.K has no idea what she’s in for but remains super excited!